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"I opened my eyes. I'd collapsed in bed after Rita left and just thought about what I'd painted until I was so exhausted from my own confusion that I fell asleep. I could see it. I knew what I'd done. I'd simply used Rita as a placeholder as I attempted to paint Allison again. And I hadn't done a particularly good job of it. My original painting had been free. The new one was deliberate and controlled—an inappropriate theme superimposed on an incompatible subject. None of what I'd captured in the earlier painting was present in the second. It was mechanical, not passionate. It showed flames, but it was cold. That fleeting grasp of something that was truly a breakthrough in my art now looked like an unhappy accident that I'd never reach again.It was late. The room was dark. But something had awakened me. At first, I thought it was just an aftershock of Rita's tearful departure, but something else was nagging at me.I heard a rustle in the room and reached to turn on the light, but my. Besides, you are my sister andtherefore my responsibility now, and it means you have standards tolive up to. It's best that you learn the basics of style and lookingpresentable so you'll be set on the right path. Rest assured, you'llthank me later for it." I wouldn't call this 'going out with a guy,'" I argued. "At least notin the usual sense. I'm pretty certain there will be no romance betweenme and Kenny." Well, you can always consider this a dress rehearsal for the realthing. I bet it won't be long before you'll get asked for a date by aman you're attracted to."I opened my mouth to insist I would never be attracted to men butthought the better of it and remained quiet. Kate was apparentlypositive that I was well on my way to becoming a heterosexual womanlike herself, and I could hardly convince her otherwise. Besides, therewas a fair chance she was right, even though I was definitely notthrilled by that prospect."There's that long face again," she reproached me. "Come on, can't.
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