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I was relieved to know I would become pregnant soon if I ordered his tape on stress relief. He knew how long I had been trying and how frustrating it was to be unable to conceive.Across the room there was a heated discussion concerning Satanic rituals among the homeless in Cleveland. I couldn't resist asking a nattily dressed gentlemen why he was holding a large stack of records in his lap, and he informed me in detail of the suicide messages to be found when playing rock records backwards. It made me wonder what the cults promoting this activity are going to do about messages on CDs.Al too soon it was time to make my appearance. I sat there nervously watching the monitor tell me that all you had to do to be young and beautiful was drink Poopsie-Cola until the red light went on. Sally Oprah switched on her smile and asked me why I was trying to save the last lighthouse in Nebraska. I think you will be able to share my confusion at the question. Obviously Sally Oprah had the wrong cue. “He spoils those kids,” Sarah told Liz. I glanced back and Liz was beaming at me.“That’s my job,” I said. “It’s what I do!”The boys usually latched onto my hands to drag me off to join in with whatever havoc they were wreaking. I usually went willingly. Wreaking havoc was one of my favorite pastimes.This time, the boys stood placidly in front of me, looking past me to the stranger in their home.Liz came forward and held out a hand to Lucas, who was closest.“I’m Liz,” she said.“You’re famous,” he replied. “Mom says we can’t be hooligans tonight.”“What’s a hooligan?” Brandon wondered.I saw Sarah cover her face in horror but Liz laughed and bent down until she was almost at his level.“Your Uncle Travis is a hooligan,” she said.“Oh,” Lucas said, glancing up at me. He nodded as though the explanation made perfect sense to him.“Boys!” Sarah said through clenched teeth.“Tonight, I’m not famous,” Liz told them. “I’m just a friend of your uncle and your mom and dad.”“Mom said you’re Uncle.
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