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As the return train roared into the packed station, I fought my way on, exhausted and desperate for a seat. Locating one in a corner, tutting as I clambered over selfish passengers sitting on the outside, thankful I had the cool glass of the window to rest my burning forehead against. Squashed alongside a sweating, overweight man in a suit, I once again listened to the beautiful melody of ‘Roads,’ now on repeat, sinking back into the unfamiliar, but intoxicating feelings of submission.As soon as the train emerged into daylight, a black box appeared on the screen I was clasping. Immediately alert, I replied, apprising her of my surroundings.“Squeezed into your corner letting your mind be consumed.”I looked around at my fellow passengers, engrossed in their own business, as I tapped out my reply, careful to hide what I was writing but unable to prevent the smile teasing across my lips.“And where is your finger?”I had to think for a moment before realising I had been nervously biting. Just like he said he would be wearing. It is an odd feeling to both want and not want something so much at the same time. The fact that he was there was absolutely thrilling to me. And the fact that he was there was absolutely terrifying. I sat at his table and we exchanged awkward pleasantries as we checked each other out. He wasn’t ugly but he wasn’t someone I’d pick out of a crowd to go home with. He was a little over weight and probably balding under his cap. I was half his age and I could tell he was very happy with me. He told me I wasn’t at all what he expected, that I was hot and a very pleasant surprise. When he asked me if I wanted to go to his car I nodded my head yes and we both got up to leave. One of my issues is that I hate making people feel bad. I don’t like saying ‘no’ to people and I don’t like disappointing them. I guess I’m what they call a pleaser. This wasn’t the case with this guy as this was my first time with Craigslist and I was buzzing from that but in my.
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