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.. how do you feel? ... do you want us to stay close, all three of us... ? Carly gave me an enthusiastic nod "YES", then leaned forward to kiss and hug Mai. I put my arms around both of them ... and said for both to hear... "we want to give you more affection and love ... you deserve it after being lonely so long..." So we made a pact on that day. I could not have been more proud of Carly ... When we got ready to leave, I asked Mai to promise to wear one of those sexy wraparounds the next time we visited ... she looked down at herself, then came up with a huge grin... "YES, of course...", then as she closed her front door, she advised us to "go and love each other the rest of today..."After we had biked to the corner, Carly came to a stop and took hold of my handlebars right after I came alongside her. Shaking her head with a grin on her face, she admitted, "Mai is fantastic ... she made me feel so good ... I'm ... I'm really attracted to her". I countered with, "uh huh, it did look. The idea of another man taking my place in my children's lives, and in my wife's bed, was, of course, distasteful, but I'd always assumed she'd do better the second time around. It had never dawned on me that I might be the survivor.I wasn't equipped to be a survivor. As seemingly perfect as things were before, I'd already had inklings that I didn't know how to live, and so didn't know how to be a father - and, for that matter, a husband. My job, upon which I relied for validation, was dead-end, albeit wellpaying. Now, my parents gone, my wife gone, my children gone; what, really, was left?I applied for a leave-of-absence from my job. I set up an automated pay plan to have yard work done, so that the neighbours couldn't complain. And then I shut myself off from the world.It took the best part of two months for people to finally piss off. My sisters kept up longer, but I didn't want to see anyone, didn't want to talk on the phone. If I had to leave the house I'd try to doit at night,.
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