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I shut my door after he left and cried into my pillow. I felt like an idiot, knowing I should of forced him to let me drive him home and then I could of begged for his forgiveness when there weren't prying eyes, but then again I shouldn't of dumped him in the first place.I lost track of how much I cried, but I put on a brave face and told everyone that asked that we just weren't meant to be, even though instead I felt like a supreme idiot and felt like something was missing from my life, which was the fact that without Ethan around I wasn't smiling or laughing as much. I don't know how I pulled it off pretending that I was fine without Ethan because everything made me sad. I'd be outside and looking at the porch swing would make me think of cuddling with him on the swing. Getting in my truck I would smile thinking about him sitting in the passengers seat, then try not to cry when I realized he wouldn't ever be in my truck again. I would be driving and see someone on a bike and my. As for understanding people, you must also understand that I have a much different perspective. The professional people you talked to were much older and followed doctrine to the letter. I am young enough to know the difference."She looked at me closely. It was hard for her to understand what I had done in my life and compare it to the boy in front of her. "Where are you staying Shawn?" I made reservations at the Marriott." We have an extra room and would love to have you stay with us." Liz was jumping but also trying to control herself at the same time.I smiled politely and said, "I keep odd hours. I get back late and sometimes leave early in the morning. The worst part is the noisy friends that stay with me on occasion." That doesn't matter. There's more than enough room. We will give you all the privacy you want. Besides, Sally and two of Liz's friends are dying to meet you." I will accept your generous offer then." Liz was so happy she ran to me and gave me a kiss in front of her.
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