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If you want to see Claire, I won’t mind, but, I want you to promise me that you’ll always come back to me, always see me as the main one in your life. If, at some point in the future we could all three of us get together and see how we feel about things, that would be wonderful, but if not, that’s okay too. Just think about it, mm?’ Hannah remained silent for a few minutes before replying, her beautiful face thoughtful as she chewed on her bottom lip. ‘Are you sure you don’t mind?’ ‘I’m sure.’ I told Hannah about what happened earlier at work, and about how I was jealous of Claire, even though I’d never even properly met her. I explained that I’d come to realise that she obviously had needs that I might not be able to satisfy, despite all my ‘training’, and that, in a way, I was being selfish. Yes, it would hurt, knowing that she was making love with another woman, but compared to the hurt of losing her, either to another man or even completely, it was nothing. She turned towards me. .. the book. It's something most people have read, sometime in their lives; and in it are four wonderful characters. Men will imagine themselves as either Jonathan Harker or Van Helsing, depending who they most admire ... the patient observer or the self-described expert who's not afraid to take drastic action. Most women imagine themselves to be Mina: strong, gentle, reverent and chaste. But me ... I lie in bed and imagine myself as Lucy; the girl who, when confronted by evil desire, eventually surrendered her body and her soul.The first time I had sex, I was drunk. It was all a cliché, really. It happened after the senior prom. He had brought a bottle along, and he had "car problems" after parking in a lovers' lane; then he goaded me with the booze and coaxed me into the back seat. I didn't like it. It hurt like the dickens, and eventually, I think I just wound up noticing things that annoyed me: his clumsiness, his breath, the mess ... that sort of thing. I swore off sex. Never.
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