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Six months is huge for me. Six months is a milestone. I avoid commitments. I tense up when things get real. I build the walls up around me even thicker. I don’t admit feelings, I deny their existence. I don’t fall in love because I don’t want to feel the pain of being hurt. Six months is a long fucking time for me.He’s my Dom, my Daddy, my Sir, my boyfriend and my rock. He’s allowed me to feel and be me. He doesn’t judge me for my faults. He loves me for them. He’s been the first person to breakdown my wall…hell he shattered it.As many of you already know, I am in a triad. The Giant’s other sub/girlfriend (la la) and I have really been able to bond and connect. The dynamics of my relationship with her are complicated. I am submissive to her…but I am not her sub. There’s sexual attraction and energy between us and she and I play quite well with each other and with Him. See? Complicated is good. But, because of an insane workload, I have not gotten to spend much time with her and we. I wasn’t even bothered by it, though; I just found the entire situation hilarious. “Now I see what you get up to in your spare time.” I winked, still struggling to suppress my laughter. He relaxed slightly. “You aren’t freaked out?” he asked me, he looked generally concerned. This was the most serious I had ever seen him. “Nope, we all do it. Some people are afraid to admit it but everyone watches shit like this every now and again,” I told him, but he still seemed panicked so to make him feel better I said, “My favourite is public, some of those people are crazy!” This seemed to calm him down a lot, he smiled. “Seriously?” He came and sat down beside me now. His face was beginning to turn to its original colour. “Yeah you can judge me all you like but there’s something about the thrill of being caught that I love.” He laughed at this and shook his head. “I’m not judging, it’s just most girls wouldn’t admit to watching porn. And I never would have expected it from you.” I wasn’t sure.
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