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Why did the carpenter’s wife leave him?A. Because he was screwing around when he should have been nailing her.Q. If a bluebird has blue babies and a redbird has red babies, what kind of bird has no babies?A. A swallow.Q. Did you hear about the woodworker who fell into a vat of varnish?A. It was a terrible end, but a beautiful finish.I bought a dog from a blacksmith today. As soon as he got home he made a bolt for the door!A blond is walking down the street with one tit hanging out. A cop stops her and says, “Look darling, as pretty a picture as it makes, you’re going to have to put that away. I could cite you for indecent exposure.”“Why?” says the blond.“Your tit is hanging out!” replies the cop, astounded.The blond looks down and says “Oh, shit! I left the baby on the bus again!”A man’s been through a rough patch of health, and the docs can’t work out what’s wrong. After he’s baffled the final expert, his doctor turns to him and says, “We can’t work out why this is happening, but. We’ve been friends for eight years, I know he’s not an idiot, and his eyes weren’t lying to him, but maybe I could fudge the truth a bit because he didn’t actually see penis entering vagina, he just saw Samantha sitting on my lap and her head bouncing up and down. “Tyler, I don’t want to talk about this on the phone. I’ll tell you what really happened. You busy tomorrow night?”“Nope, I’m free b*o. This should be good.” He laughed. “See you tomorrow.”So, that took care of Tyler for the time being, until Sunday night, but what about my sister. I wondered if I should tell her that he knew almost everything. That didn’t seem to make much sense, what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her, unless Tyler decides to start telling everyone in the neighborhood, but maybe that would be the excuse my sister and I needed to run off to another state, or another country even, to begin our adventurous and forbidden life to together. No, now I was being ridiculous. That sounded like a chick flick except.
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