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Pushing the envelope across the desk, Titus said, “Here’s your solution.”“What is it?” the man asked.“You need to visit a marriage counselor who deals with issues like this. I’ve included the business cards of several eminently qualified individuals,” Titus answered.“She barely talks to me. How am I to convince her to go there?”Titus said, “You have to point out to her that she may have overlooked all of the benefits of being married to a man who likes to wear dresses.”“Benefits?”Titus said, “Sure. Just think of how much easier it will be for her to go shopping for presents for you. No longer will she have to journey to the hardware store and face a confusing array of tools she can’t name and doesn’t know what they do. She can go to her favorite dress store and browse merchandise that she understands and appreciates.”“I never thought about that.”Titus said, “There are other benefits of her having discovered this passion of yours.”“What?”Titus said, “After being married for twenty. If her hand ever touches the counter, I'll put mine on top of hers while I say something soft to her. Whatever. My nose twitches, her nose twitches and my cock starts to fill with blood.Zelda, as I said, was looking for Fitzgerald. One of the benefits of my business is that, with so much to read and so much time to do it, I can hold a decent conversation on a lot of different subjects. So we got into a discussion about Gatsby and the Roaring Twenties — that's before my time, her time and your time too.Her name actually fit; it reminds me of a slightly plump woman, which she was. OK, let's be politically correct and just call her 'full-figured'. But still not Rubenesque. Whichever; I just needed something to fuck. Her jeans and blouse fit properly, neither tight nor baggy; she had obviously spent good money in a quality shop to take advantage of her size."Ah yes," she said, "those Roaring Twenties must have been like the sixties." She said it as though with fond memories."You're.
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