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"Who the fuck are you," he asked. "My name, Sir, is Mary. Mary Smith, and I am delighted to make your acquaintance." "N..no..." Andy stammered, looking at the grave stone, "You're fucking dead!" "No Sir," she contradicted him, "I am awake, till one hour past midnight." Andy's instinct was to run but the woman extended her cold hand, touching his arm, "Stay with me, Sir." Recoiling from her touch, Andy backed away, until the cold granite of her memorial prevented further retreat and reminded him of the inscription. "It says hear that you' re a murderer," he said nervously. "Yes Sir," the woman admitted, "But they wrongly accused me Sir. They wronged poor Mary most terribly Sir." "You're telling me you didn't do it," Andy said, becoming strangely accustomed to speaking to a woman who had been dead for more than a century! "Well," Mary began, "They all died, that's for sure, but I did not murder them Sir. I loved them Sir, all of them." "Them," Andy repeated. "Yes, my husbands Sir. I. I also let her know that I hoped that we would have a continuing friendship and that it may involve more sex.“Jesus Christ, Mom. What’s next, the two underage 15 and 16-year-old kids that work here?”Maintaining a tone of seriousness, I said, “I already talked to Brad about that. We thought the blond 15-year-old looks like he might be good for an afternoon roll in the hay. Unless you have your eye on him?”Carol practically shouted, “Mom, you wouldn’t!”Brad started to snicker, and Carol realized she had been had. She figured it was Brad’s fault and punched his shoulder. Which only made him laugh louder.Carol calmed down and said, “You really got turned-on just watching them?”“Yes, I did. You could tell Gail and Marie were meant for each other, and to watch them make love was beautiful to me and very erotic.”“Well, it looks like we have another family secret. All I can say is you are having one hell of a vacation. Next year I am coming alone and follow you around to see what you do.
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