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These last months, Neil and I had learned to live by the principal of total, one hundred percent honesty, and so I took a deep breath and answered Neil’s question.“Neil, honey, if it was me, then yes, I’d love to go. But it’s not just me. I love you, darling, and I’d never do anything that you weren’t happy with. So I only want to go if you’re totally okay with it. If there’s even a tiny doubt in your mind, you have to tell me, and then I wouldn’t want to go at all.”Neil and I held each others’ gaze as he looked at me thoughtfully, all of his early joking now gone. I knew he was trying to work out what to say, and I waited patiently.“Go. Go with Jason, darling. You’ll have a wonderful time. I’ll miss you like hell, but it’s only a week, and then I’ll have you back.”I didn’t reply, I just carried on looking into Neil’s face, thinking how wonderful and giving he was. Of course, I knew he’d get his own strange type of pleasure from me being with Jason in Jamaica. But I knew that wasn’t. But try as I might I could not get myself off again. This is the price I pay for having such low testosterone. No body hair, good. No beard, good. No functioning weenie, not so good. The most reliable way for me to get off is anal stimulation. A good fucking by a thick man will always get me off. But tonight even my biggest butt plug and highest power setting on my Estim could not do it. Oh well, off to sleep. The next few days were uneventful. As usual, 45 e-mails threatening to fuck me like I have never been fucked before. That is always good. The not so good is the guys are all either in Iran or Tierra del Fuego. Occasionally I get a local guy. And then the news from gurls and other fags. We stay in close touch and share info on men, makeup, hose and butt lube among other crucial topics. But it is all fun. And yes, then work.Sunday came faster than I could imagine. I got in from a work gig and hit the douche, the shower and then the tub to shave my peach fuzz. Once done I lubed,.
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