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Self-awareness I'm experiencing. Like, I am an entity, a whole, stand-alone person. I used to think of Ethan as a piece of me. An extension of self that I needed; but now I think I felt that way because it wasn't Ok for me to want things. Like, I only ever deserved what I needed. Not anymore. Almost overnight I feel -- quite comfortably -- that it's totally fine for me to want things. And absolutly to be expected that I should get what I want.Speaking of things I want; Hayden (god his name is so fucking stupid I hate to even write it) finally came back to work today after being gone for three days. I don't flatter myself that it was the pain of my rejection keeping him away, I'm sure it was just the awkwardness. I have a feeling that if he wasn't so new, and this place wasn't such a fantastic resume-entry for him, that he would have quit over it and gone somewhere else.I walked past his desk intentionally a few times just to watch him squirm. I think he went shopping to make himself. Now, you tell me: would that be ok with you?" He let the question hang in the air. Olivia tried to keep a poker face, but as he described the consequences, she could see a metaphorical crack opening under her feet, threatening to end the career she had built for herself. Finally, she spoke up, her voice much quieter, "No. Don't do that." "I don't have to, Olivia. But you're going to have to learn to behave yourself. And I know just how to teach you that lesson. Wait here." He walked back to the door, opened it and fetched something from the bottom drawer of his desk, then returned, closing the door behind him. As he got closer, she could see that he had what looked to her like a wooden hairbrush, but she was confused - this brush appeared to have no bristles on it. "Olivia, I am going to teach you a lesson in humility by taking this paddle and blistering your bottom." Olivia's eyes got wide as saucers, "What? You can't do that!" "Oh no? Shall I pack up my desk, then?" Again, the.
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