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She seemed occupied with something, not paying attention. A plan formed in my mind, and my heart was racing with excitement. I have a toolbox in the back seat. I took out a few nylon zip-ties. You’re not really going through with this, aren’t you? queried the good angel on my shoulder. Well, maybe I will, maybe I won’t? answered the other, dark angel. We’re just?thinking about it?. But I knew. She was so beautiful—in a young, pristine sort of way. I wanted her. I had to have her. I had to fuck her. Not just to fuck her-- To rape her. To rape her! I was rather astonished about how efficient I was over the next several minutes, how careful I was with details—that I had such a streak of criminal cunning in me. Making sure that my passenger door was unlocked, I walked around the back or her car, and came up to the passenger side, where she was sitting. She had a schoolbook open in her lap, studying while Mom shopped. . . so, at least I got home OK.The wife's back on the warpath again.She was up for making a home video last night and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport."Nationality?" asks the immigration officer."German," she replies."Occupation?"No, just here for a few days."As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer's funeral, a voice from inside screams:"I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!"The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and mutters,"Too late, mate, the paperwork's already done."I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit suicide together yesterday.Strangely enough, however, once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better.So I thought - sod it, I'll soldier on.I woke up this morning at 8 and could sense.
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