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Was he going to punish her for her outburst, incarcerate and leave her there until she learned her lesson? Her disquiet must have communicated itself to Yunan, because he stopped and looked at her. ‘It is not a sleeping chamber.’ Yunan moved a brick set back in the wall and retrieved and a very heavy iron key which he set into the door. It needed both his hands to turn the key in the lock and push the door open wide. ‘Come,’ he beckoned her. Releasing a long breath, Sophia followed him through the door. Inside, the room was lit by bright morning sunshine. Stairs grew out of the cool, tiled floor, hugging the plain, lime-washed walls. As her gaze followed the walls, she realised there was no roof above them, only a canvas sail which shaded the room from direct sunlight, casting huge shadows against the walls. In the middle of the circular room stood two soft couches piled with so many cushions, they formed a tower which toppled onto the floor as they approached. Sophia’s head was. I can't even make myself cheerful at the littlest things now. How was I going to maintain a happy relationship when I'm hell bent on giving myself nothing but punishment?It's so sad that I let someone break me like this. Causing my life to turn upside down and make me hate life as well as myself. I can't even believe in myself anymore. I've lost the desire to create and bring laughter to others. I can't bring myself to want anything, to hope or even love.I don't deserve love anyway, not even love for myself. I did a horrible thing to someone else and deserve to suffer for it. Coincidentally, I've found a perfect way to do that. Sexual humiliation has become something I am rather good at taking and being used has taken over any of my previous sexual preferences.Finding the men is easy enough, especially when I tell them that I don't care who they are - something that seems mutual to most men nowadays. I don't think I've even asked their names the past few times. Thankfully, they don't.
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