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..Liz has gotten uncomfortably quiet which means she's thinking about something serious. I give her what I hope is enough space for her to solidify her thoughts then I interrupt, "Liz, a penny for you thoughts and a ten for your body!"Liz snaps out of her mental state, looks at me and demands, "What the hell? My body is only worth ten measly dollars?"I grin at her and taunt, "Well, you are an old, almost married, pregnant woman..."I knew that would 'get her goat'. She counters, "Old my ass! If I'm old you're antiquated and ... and ... and ... It's your fucking fault that I'm pregnant and not only that, it's your fault we're not married!"I begin to laugh and say, "Liz, don't get all worked up, I just wanted to know what you were thinking about so intensely."Liz bites her lower lip and answers...Damn it! I was too quiet and Bernie figured out I was thinking of something serious. I hesitate to tell him by waffling, "Bernie, if I tell you you're going to hate me."Bernie reaches over,. Friggin’ imports.My little light was almost useless. A dozen lightning bugs would’ve shed more light.Hauling myself out of the sleeping bag turned out to be a real chore. My stiff muscles protested every move I made and my back was killing me. Payback for not having an air mattress. The atmosphere in the tent was rather brisk, a polite way of saying, “too damn cold.”First things first, I crawled naked past our saucepan, AKA: a chamber pot. Screw it! I didn’t want to bother cleaning our makeshift toilet; besides, we would later need to melt snow to replace our drinking water. I crawled to the entrance and climbed to my knees. An upset bride once asked a famous advice columnist, “My husband insists on urinating in our backyard. Why does he do that?”Her answer became the stuff of legend, “Because he can.”I shuffled forward and, plumbing in hand, I sprayed the dry, dusty ground of our cave with a monsoon of yellow rain. The first moisture in more than a hundred years.Lighting a cigarette.
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