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“You’ve been playing off the ladies’ tees all week.”Q: How do you know when you’re really ugly?A: Dogs close their eyes when they’re humping your legMemories from Chuck B When I was in an all-boys high school, back during World War II, there was a fellow student with the surname of Cherkov. You can imagine how a bunch of teen boys pronounced that name. He was something of what may now be called a geek, and would always try to be first to answer questions in class. There was one time though, in I think a history class, the instructor asked a question, and the young man madly waved his hand as usual. Perhaps the older male instructor was a bit peeved at the antics, and I will always recall the rather disgusted tone of his voice as he said, “Okay Cherkov, shoot.” Someone started snickering, and in a moment the entire class was rolling in laughter to the instructor’s apparent bewilderment. Except red faced Cherkov, of course.True story, and one of my better memories of high school,. "When is this supposed to take place?" I asked."First thing tomorrow morning," said the blond man. It was then that I noticed the iPhone placed in front of the huge 75 inch curved 4K television set. It reminded me that sometime tomorrow morning I'd be receiving a very important call."Don't worry, Ma'am," said the blond bruiser. "All important calls will be routed through to you." Great," I said. "There are no exits from the second floor except to the balcony over the pool in the back. I'm too old to jump or climb down to that concrete pool deck, so I'm going up to sleep in my bed. I have a lot of liquor to sleep off and some bad decisions to think through."Both bruisers nodded."Hey what about me," yelled Brett."You can sleep on the floor," I said."Fuck you," he sneered. "If you won't give me a guest room, I'm sleeping on this couch." Gentlemen," I said to the bruisers. "I would prefer it if Mr. Baldridge kept his slimy ass off of my furniture. Can you at least do that for me? Help.
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