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God knows why. It was boring as all get out. But hey, if it makes her happy- well its her fucking car.Oh, I like cars by the way. Especially older Mercedes-Benzes. Just so you know.Anyway, I got walked in, threw my coat on the back of a kitchen chair, and went up to the my bedroom so I could change and shower, and then take a long bath. A really long bath.But as I approached my bedroom door, I heard the bed squeaking and creaking. And I was all, 'What the fuck?' So I opened the door, and this asian guy was making like Brian Wilson in Farmers Daughter, cuz he was certainly plowing my wife's fields.She saw me, and threw him off, saying: "No, wait, he didn't mean anything to me!"You know, I've always wondered. I know it feels like shit to be cheated on. I mean I feel like shit now. But I've always wondered how the paramour feels being shoved off of themselves, being pronounced worthless, unimportant, and a bad fuck at the drop of a hat. Ever wondered?Whenever I heard absurd poppycock. She said that was going back on our understanding, that it was just a phone conversation and nothing else. The negotiations continued. At one point she offered to give me head and $100 each for the washer and dryer. I reminded her she was getting about $2,000 worth of appliances, that even the head job she had described last night wouldn’t justify that kind of money. They are seriously energy and eco-efficient, I said. You’ll save a couple hundred a year just on that. I need some pussy for that. We finally settled at a price of $300. There were at least 15 different provisions that went into that. I would give her the washer and dryer and help load them into the U-Haul she was renting. I also threw in the pool table and all of the accessories. In return, she would show up in 90 minutes sharp with the U-Haul. She would be wearing her navy wool coat and black high heel shoes with a strap in front. I had quizzed her extensively about her wardrobe. Under the wool coat she.
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