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Paradise was old. As Paradise got dressed and readied herself for the day, she thought some more about her lack of sex life and what she could do to remedy her situation. She could have a one night stand. One guilt free night of just sex, no strings attached, no awkwardness, just sex. One night of great sex. As her day progressed and people wished her a happy birthday and gave her odd, sympathetic looks, Paradise thought more on her one night stand idea. It would be a great way to celebrate turning thirty. It would also be one last great night of fun before she settled down and concentrated on finding ‘the one’ which had been a preoccupation of hers for the past five years. It had taken her until six months ago to realize that Lewis wasn’t ‘the one’, just like it had taken until last year to realize that her boyfriend Simon wasn’t ‘the one’ either. Or Arthur, or Michael, or Eric. Or the countless other men that she had been on dates with that her friends had set her up with. It. Hilda didn't like what she washearing. When Sharon told her about finding Pat's used jock strap mixedwith her lingerie on the bathroom floor she decided that somethingwould have to be done."We're going to make that boy wish he never was born," Hilda said."Such behavior cannot be tolerated and will not in my house." Maybe we should start spanking him or at least grounding him," Zeldareplied."Mother that little pansy would probably pee his pants if you so muchas threatened him with a paddling," Sharon piped in. "He's never beenspanked in his life much less grounded." I think Sharon has something there," Hilda said. "Why don't we seejust how much of a pansy we can make him? Having a little pansyfloating around the house would be much nicer than that ruffian runningamok and upsetting my life." Hilda you can't be serious about that? I know he is a pain in the buttat times and I inherited him from my husband, but he's all boy. Can youreally change him into a pansy? That's pretty drastic.
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