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First things first, though. I had to pee. I took stock of my body. The right leg felt tight where I'd pulled out the stick. I'd have to take it easy on that so I didn't open up the wound. My left foot felt dead. I mean, it wasn't numb, it wasn't the normal feeling of no feeling, it wasn't asleep, there was more nothingness there. I rolled over and crawled to the nearest tree. There was a stick on the ground that looked like it would work as a crutch. It even had a bend at the top so I could rest it under my shoulder. I used it and the trunk to get to my knees, then I watered the ground. It seemed to go on forever.I stood up the rest of the way and hobbled out to where I'd laid out my clothes. The parka was still puffed up. Stupid thing probably wouldn't be dry until summer.My two shirts were stiff. I put them on and felt some moisture but it was a lot better than standing there bare-ass naked. My jeans were a lot wetter but that's to be expected. They take forever to dry in the dryer. I liked being fucked and played with and actually looked forward to Ben because I did have those wonderful orgasms. I didn't know how to be romanced. My heart wanted the romance, my body craved the sex. My body won. But, my heart was empty.Yes, I understand. I'm not making excuses. Writing this, I reflected on a possibility of why or how things happened. I am what I am. I cannot change the past and I just accepted it and tried to learn. And I say try. Of course alot of times I didn't learn and kept wanting more and different cock in me. I love the feeling I get of a hole in my body being full and the feeling as sperm is ejected up inside me. Then when the guy’s cock comes out, my taste is all over it. I don't mind licking his cock to clean it up and get a taste of my juice on it. Perhaps it is addictive...Jeff, being my first love and first boyfriend, was still my focus. We saw each other as much as possible. Most of the time, he would either come to my house and pick me up or I.
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