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I took her home in stony silence. Ever the optimist, I asked if I could call her. She said something like yes, in about three million years when you've evolved some more. I took that as a 'No'. I'm perceptive that way.A few weeks later, I met another really nice girl called Lyn. Same lyrics, different tune, I'm afraid. We were necking on someone's sofa. The lights were out and the scent of raging hormones filled the evening air. I had my hand up her sweater and was playing with her nipples and the tongue wrestling had entered the sixth and final round. I thought I was home free. Of course I blew it. I thought I'd try this really 'sophisticated' line I heard somewhere. It's called the 'hereafter technique.' It goes "If you're not here after what I'm here after, you'll be here after I've gone." All delivered with a rakish grin. Excruciating, isn't it? The left side of my face was swollen for a week.I felt I was the favourite for the Male Virginity World Championships: through to the. I'm doing up some roast beast hash in my cast iron no-stick skillet and Mom walks in."Morning Jeff, you sleep well last night?"I'm thinking that's an interesting question first thing in the morning."Yeah, Mom, pretty good. It was kinda hot yesterday...why do you ask?"So what are you doing today?" Mom does not want to answer questions... Okay, no big deal but I'm thinking Gerty told her that another pair of half-glasses were found spotless and sparkling.Mom is sipping coffee and reading the Sunday paper through a pair of dark brown half-moon style glasses with a high bridge half down her nose and she looks quite hot. I know there is something going on here, but say not a word about this. I mean, I clean Gerty's half-glasses twice and now Mom is wearing hers? I don't think it is a coincidence."So Jeff, what do you think of Gerty?" Very nice, Mom, she comes across as very confident, as she has gone to college and maybe a school for music? She seems to have a lot of cultures." Am I.
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