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Jake and I were hanging out at our friends's place, Ryan and Andy. Ryan and Andy were roommates, and all of us had been good friends for years. I had actually seen both of them naked when skinny dipping at a party when we were in college, and even though I only saw them soft, I knew I was the smallest of the group. The hypnotized part of my brain couldn't help but imagine sucking them off. I tried to get the thought out of my head, but I couldn't stop.We sat around having a few beers, joking and laughing with each other. Finally Andy asked Jake about how his hypnosis was going. He winked at me when he said it. Did Jake tell Andy about what happened?"It's good, I'm getting pretty damn good at it." Yeah, who have you practiced on?" Ryan asked."Actually, Johnny here has been hypnotized," Jake said about me."Oh yeah, what did you do?" I don't think it worked," I tried to lie, nervous that the secret would be revealed."Oh it worked alright," Jake said. "He became my little cock-" Please. My mother looked at me and said, "Jessica, I'd like to speak to you inthe kitchen please." What?" In the kitchen, now."As we were walking out, I heard Matty say, "While you're in there, getme some coffee." I knew he was baiting me. I shouldn't have risen tothe bait. But I did.I went back in. "Excuse me?" You heard me. Coffee." Matty, no one else will say it, so I will. Can you please shut up?For the love of g-d, just shut up. You have no idea what you're talkingabout. Not about law school. Not about the election. Not aboutanything. So just shut up. And get your own damn coffee."We went into the kitchen. "What are you doing?" What am I doing what?" With Matty." He's an asshole. Mike was asking me a question and he startedbloviating...over me. What would you expect me to do?" Don't curse, please." How would you describe him?" Just ignore him. Grandma Rosie would've said ignore him." You know what, ma? Enough. Maybe she had the patience of Job, but Idon't. All day he.
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