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‘Joshua, I — I want to say how I feel, but, …’ She frowned. ‘Oh, this is just stupid. We’re not kids. Surely there has to come a time when you can just say what you mean.’ She looked at the outline of his head in the darkness and tried again resolutely. ‘Joshua, I really want to love you to death.’ She giggled a second later, ‘Ok, not in a literal sense, exactly. I think I would like to give it a serious try though and, you know, stop before you died.’ She looked at his outline in the darkness, a little glad that she wouldn’t be able to see his face in a few minutes. ‘I really wish that I’d met you a long time ago. I feel a little like a key that was made for a lock, but was always kept on a keychain and never used until when it gets tried, it doesn’t fit anymore because it’s worn thin from being in somebody’s pocket.’ She looked down. ‘Since we’re laying our cards out on the table, there is something that you ought to know.’ Kayla thought for a second, and decided sadly that the. I hadn't really given it any thought. ‘I'mashamed to say that I don't know, Praew. He isn’t a big talker.’ Ismiled again, ‘I know he really likes Jamie, and probably James too, forall I know. But I don't know exactly. He seems to be someone who takeslife pretty easily. Are you saying I need to take his feelings more intoaccount?’She didn't answer for a minute, letting her eyes play over my face,whilst deciding what to say.‘It's not for me to say, James. What I will say is that you seem to havebeen on a switchback ride since you came to Thailand. Given everythingthat has happened to you over here, you may have awoken feelings andemotions which were buried deep inside you, so it's not a surprise thatyou're unsure about what you feel. You are lucky to have people who caredeeply about you, and who can help you on your journey of selfdiscovery. It wouldn't be for everyone, but from what I have learntabout you, I think you have the courage and sensitivity to deal with it.We have a saying.
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