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My aunt hugged me closely in comfort. She knew mysecret, so she knew how much this hurt. She apologized for her son'sactions, but it still didn't help me feel any better.I did not know how long I stayed on that couch. People came to saygoodbye, but they all started to blur together in my grief. At some pointMom helped me change and get ready for bed, and it wasn't long before Iwas dead to the world.---The next day wasn't any better. It was a six hour drive up to Oakland,which meant we didn't even have time to go guitar shopping to find areplacement. I crashed into the hotel bed about as depressed as I had beenthe night before. I had hoped that I would be able to find a replacementon the morning of the concert, but between the interviews and otherresponsibilities that I had before the concert started, I didn't have timethen either. When I took the stage for the sound check, I was holding anacoustic guitar that Jason had loaned to me. I felt off while singing andwe had to replay a. Someone I could care for and who would want me for who I am.My business lets me meet a lot of powerful women and I've dated a few. I don't know, maybe it's just me. Most seem to be domineering and want to be in charge. I want a woman that is sure of herself but still has a soft and gentle side. I remember telling that to a friend one time.His reply was, "People in Hell want ice water too."Maybe I just dated the wrong kind of women. April was way too materialistic, Collette was wonderful but already taken. Even Teresa turned out to be a wonderful wife to Larry.Now I had a financial problem. It was known that my business was successful and I was earning a decent living. I was making six digits a year. Now with some of the women I had to wonder if it was about the money. I wouldn't have a problem sharing everything with the right woman but how do I figure out if it's me she wants or just a secure financial future. April was the one that turned me paranoid about that.I honestly believe.
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