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”“I know you’re just being a nice guy. Jay doesn’t think that way. He’s been bugging me to go back to the same weight I was when we got married.”“I don’t know about what Jay thinks, but as far as I’m concerned you look perfect. No need to lose an ounce.”“You’re serious, aren’t you.”“Very.”“Well, what’s my best feature in your opinion?”I heard that many new mothers don’t like being told their boobs look good because eventually when their hormones settle their breasts deflate. So I chose the safe option.“Your ass.”“My Ass?”“Yes, your ass is definitely your best feature, but only by a narrow margin. I would give it an eleven on a scale of ten. And the rest just ten out of ten.”“You like my ass that much, huh?”“If I had to choose, then your ass it is.” I was being straight forward knowing that nothing would come of this and I was only trying to make Kay feel good about herself.“Well then, why don’t you come over tomorrow and play with it?”I almost spit out my drink that I was sipping at. He gazed into the dusk and pointed, confirming the approach of their loads of gifts sent by the various charity TV events and phone-ins world wide. “Yeah OK but we’d better find this motherfucking place,” groaned Bill. “Don’t be so crude Bill. Haven’t you got the Gracen to be pleasant for a while,” complained Charles, stroking Camilla’s underbelly. The horse neighed softly and he lovingly blew into the mare’s nostrils. “Shit! Look who’s talking,” laughed Bill, viciously pinching Hillary’s ear, making her twitch and skitter about nervously. “You’re the one wishing you could be a tampon. Did you hear about that Manny? Made front pages of the rags world wide.” The ancient old king nodded and chuckled as he took Winnie’s reins. Suddenly a man appeared from the shadows. “Pssst! You looking for Jesus?” he whispered. “We don’t actually know,” answered Charles vaguely, scratching his head. “You mean there’s a fucking Mexican out here in this godforsaken shithole? But I guess that figures,”.
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