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It would be nice if you could stop by the house tonight on your way home and let them off the hook.” “Yeah, absolutely,” I said. “Dan, I am sorry, I know how much this hurts, I can hear it in your voice. Please, please take the opportunity to find someone, or at least do some dating. Jim was threatening, the other day, to send a hooker over to you, just so you could get laid.” Bev was doing her best to cheer me up a little. “Maybe you’re right, I don’t know, we’ll see. I will stop at the house tonight and talk to the girls.” “Okay, thanks Dan. Please, hang in there. You’re a great guy, I know she’s out there Dan.” Later that day I headed for my former house. The car guided through the suburban streets like it remembered the way. I pulled into the drive, sat in my car and just sighed to myself. One by one it seemed like parts of my old life were being chipped away. The problem was, I had nothing new in my life to fill in those empty spots. Maybe Bev was right, I thought. I do need. ” The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in New Zealand and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.” The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we settle disputes in North Wairarapa. We settle small disagreements like this with the ‘Three Kick Rule.’” The lawyer asked, “What is the ‘Three Kick Rule’?” The Farmer replied, “Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up.” The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees! His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer’s last meal gushing.
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