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Bigger than you, the icing on the cake. But now, I’m not so sure I get it anymore. Now I know what the pain feels like. The hurt and jealousy and fear. Those things were really difficult for me. How come you’re okay with them and still want me to be with Francis?”That was a damned good question. And it was going to difficult to explain. It took me some time to gather my thoughts before I was able to reply.“There are limits, darling. Remember last week when I lost it. When it became too much.”Sue nodded her head, listening intently.“I guess it’s just who I am. I’ve always known you were out of my league. And I’ve always felt physically insecure. I guess deep down I want to be Francis or a guy like him. Sure, there’s a loving part of me who wants you to have the pleasure that he can give you. But as I’m the one giving you to him, it’s like at some level I feel I’m the one giving you the pleasure as well.”None of this was new to Sue. Over the years we’d talked about it often.“But what. Emily had come down to help, as did Heather. She was still gloating about us being in trouble."I'm hoping that they make you two do all the chores for a month. I would love to get out of doing them." Heather, would you shut up before I make you throw up." And how would you do that?"I reached down like I was going to put my hand in the cow shit that the last cow had left behind. That was all it took before she was wretching, trying to hold her breakfast in. This got Emily laughing."Geez Heather. I haven't even thrown it at you yet." That's sick." I know. Now shut up and leave us alone for a while."It did succeed in getting her off our back.After the morning chores were complete, we went inside and took a shower, separately. I was laying in the hammock in the yard when Emily came up and joined me. She cuddled up to me in the shade of the hammock."Richie, what do you think they will do to us?" I don't think they will kill us. It would seem counter productive." Come on and be serious." I.
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