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Or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit suicide together yesterday.Strangely enough, however, once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better.So I thought - sod it, I'll soldier on.I woke up this morning at 8 and could sense something was wrong.I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do.Then I remembered – the local cafe serve breakfast until 11.30."Jesus Loves You."Nice to hear in church but not in a Mexican prison.Got caught having a piss in the local swimming pool today.The lifeguard shouted at me so loud I nearly fell in.I woke to go to the toilet in the middle of the night and noticed a Muslim sneaking through next door's garden.Suddenly my neighbour came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel killing him instantly.He then began to dig a grave with the shovel.Astonished, I got back into bed.My. But why did you not come to me?” She did not sound hurt, more curious.“Frannie, I knew you would likely be out with Frank. I knew I needed somebody right then, and Jacki is the first one to come to mind. But thank you, and I appreciate your being such a friend when I need it.”“Pete, next time at least try. Even if I’m with Frank, he will understand. He knows how close we are, and that I would do almost anything for you.”“Me too Pete, anything you need, at any time. I am always there for you,” Jacki added.“Thank you, both of you. I’m better now, I think it was just the shock of hearing what I thought were words of love from her aimed at somebody else on camera. I question if she ever loved me.”“Oh no, trust me Pete. At least then, it was real. I met her, that was real love. The only problem was with her, and that she did not hold onto that love as you did. Do not doubt she loved you, I saw her eyes when she looked at you, that was real. As the saying goes, the eyes do not lie.”Finally.
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