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For the first time in my life, I became self-conscious, aware of my ill-fitting, and certainly very ordinary clothes. I glanced at my reflection, as we passed a mirror, and saw the complete lack of style with my hair. I was appalled. How can Julie have ever wanted to look at me? What did she see in me?Julie turned to look at me, as we reached the end of the upstairs hallway. Her beautiful smile suddenly changed to a look of concern. “Oh, baby, what ever’s the matter?” as she reached a hand to my cheek. Her thumb brushed a tear, as her fingers stroked me.It was too much, sobs shook my body, as I turned away from her.“Diane, please talk to me, tell me what’s wrong.” She stood behind me but came close, her arms reaching around me. I lifted my hands to hers and gripped them tight to my chest.Between sobs, I blurted out, “I don’t understand, what made you pick me? I’m nothing, I’m not pretty like some of the others at college. Why me?”Julie hugged me tightly, “I love you, that’s all I. "I had a son that was never going to see his Mommy again. I had to start raising him on my own. You know where I did my grieving?"Stacia shook her head."In the office," said Kevin. "For the last couple years I've busted my butt at work to make partner. I didn't do it for the money. I didn't do it for the power or the prestige. I didn't even do it for a better future for Ryan. I did it because every day I'd come home to Ryan and he was a reminder of everything bad that had happened. When you say I've been slacking off with my son, you hit a nerve. In some ways you're right. He spends a lot of time with Grandma while I'm working long hours late into the night; time when I should be helping him learn is alphabet or how to count to a hundred; time when I should be playing with him and enjoying the wonderful gift that Melissa bestowed on me." Jesus, Kevin. I didn't know." Stacia, I've had hard experiences in my life just like you have. I've let those experiences rule my life for too long..
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