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As I perform my duties, you will understand that my nostrils must, perforce, rest deep in the Royal minge. That is unless Her Royal Highness is so fatigued as to wish to recline immediately on a divan, in which case she has requested me to adopt a position which I would have thought quite improper without her express instruction. On such occasions I am to clamber over the Royal torso, presenting my backside to the princess's visage. It seems to me most improper, but Her Highness has indicated to me that she finds that very impropriety most gratifying. And so it is that I regularly exchange the musky, ammonia scent of the Hirsutian Royal bush, for the yeasty cocktail that emanates from the Anus Mirabilis or Royal anus.At first I was very dainty in avoiding contact with the puckered rim of one of so high a rank, but on repeated occasions as I worked my tongue into the depths of the Royal slot, the princess has sighed and placed her hands firmly on the back of my head, demonstrating. “How’s your Tuesday?”“Mine is excellent thanks, how’s yours?” I replied.“Before I go any farther, I wanted to thank you for your suggestion about dumping the dead weight man I have. I told my girlfriend about it and we laughed for 10 minutes over it. When I asked her if she’d help, she said that it was an insane idea and that SHE’D be insane not to want to.” I heard her tell me.“You’re most welcome, I’m not a fan of asshole men. But I am a fan of karma if you know what I mean.” I said giggling to her.“So, Meredith, to what do I owe the pleasure of talking to you this afternoon?” Melissa asked me.At that moment, I heard Hannah in my mind tell me to invite her girlfriend over as well and that we’d make an evening of it.“Well, my Aunt asked me to invite you over to the house in thanks for not getting too angry with us over that incident at the mall,” I explained to her. “I think that her idea was that we do some grilling and sitting out by the pool. You’re more than welcome to bring.
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