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“Well! This is a wonderful greeting!” I exclaimed softly as I kissed her on the back of the neck as she stood at the counter mixing another batch of cookie dough.“Ohhhh!” she squealed as she tilted her head backward. “Don’t do that or I’ll not finish these!”I told her that I’d change my clothes and help her out as I walked quickly to the bedroom. Changing into a pair of sweatpants and a ’T’, I hastily returned to the kitchen.A few hours later, all the cookies were baked, cooling on rack after rack.“Thanks so much for the help, Hun,” she said as she kissed me quickly. “Now, I’m going to go shower! Thanks to you, I‘m a few hours ahead of the plan!” she added as she disappeared down the hallway.It was almost no time at all until I heard the water running in the shower and I took an inventory on the cookies. I saw there were chocolate chip, oatmeal, chocolate and peanut butter chip, and my favorite, good old plain peanut butter (made with crunchy peanut butter).I was standing there trying. He is not ‘BALDING’ - He is in ‘FOLLICLE REGRESSION.’5. He does not act like a’TOTAL ASS’- He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.’(Loved this one!)6. It’s not his’CRACK’you see hanging out of his pants - It’s ‘TROUSER CLEAVAGE.’This is likely a repeat but it is worth a re-read“As good as this bar is,” said the Scotsman, “I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there’s a wee place called McTavish’s.The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he’ll buy the fifth drink.”“Well, Angus,” said the Englishman, “at my local pub in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two.”“Ahhh, dat’s nothin’,” said the Irishman, “back home in me favourite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they’ll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you’ve had enough drinks, they’ll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid, all on the house!”The Englishman and Scotsman were.
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