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. and further downward still. I feel nothing, nothing butthe pubic hair and soft skin of my smooth groin. Nothing. Please,please let there be something, let me have at least some trace ofmasculinity that will mask the true nature of my humiliation, of myself. I reach even further and my fingers eventually find the source ofthis angst, nestled languidly, softly, timidly on small, smooth, softballs. At peace. I literally feel my whole body shrink withhumiliation, as if any masculinity that may be mistakingly hidingsomewhere within me has suddenly got the message and left as quickly asit possibly could, leaving my physical being to diminish and move astep closer to inevitable femininity. This embarrassing parody of amale appendage will reveal the truth even if I'm to terrified to, thenaked truth, the soft, small, emasculated, effeminate brutal nakedtruth. I can't fuck her, I never will be able to fuck her........Idon't even think I want to fuck her." I can't " almost imperceptibly. Ten minutes later I was on my way to his office. When I stepped into his office Jim said I was hoping I would see you today. I look at Jim and asked just what he meant by using my special attributes to help get myself promoted. Jim said 'Okay here it is. On paper you look just like any of the other candidates on my list but in your underwear you would look much better.' He must have seen how stunned I was by that comment. He told me to sit down and he offered me a cup of coffee. I said I was fine and asked him to continue, thinking that I might well be gathering evidence for a charge of sexual harassment. Then Jim continued saying, 'I know that your thinking this is sexual harassment and you are probably right. But it is also an offer to help you come out ahead of your competition. It's a win-win situation.' Finally I just asked him what I would be expected to do for him. Jim very matter of factly laid it out for me. He said 'First, if you agree I will have your job changed so that.
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