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.it's not that. I love you, Justin. It's just...you're wonderful, and making love is fine, but sometimes I don't want to be treated like I'm made of glass. I want—" "To be fucked like a slut? Used and degraded?" Kelly's eyes widened; she waited for the inevitable blowup, but it never came. Justin merely regarded her coolly, finally giving her a small smile when he saw her hesitation. "Answer truthfully." "Yes, but—" "Don't do that. I asked for the truth. I meant what I said, Kelly. I love you, and I want this marriage to work. And...I haven't been completely honest with you, either." Kelly's heart sank. She waited, girding herself for whatever her loving husband was about to tell her. Scrubbing a hand over his face, Justin gave a short laugh. "Here I've been trying to be a gentleman and treat you with the tenderness and and deference you deserve, that I thought you wanted, and all you want is to be tossed around and called names. To be fucked by other men, have them treat you like a. I took a deep breath and tried to put the blizzard of thoughts spinningthrough my mind into some rational pattern, and said, "But having seenmyself, and listened to what you said as about my childhood confusionsfrom a gender psychologists point of view you have explained numerousthings about why I always felt about myself, that I've never been ableto conceptualise." I sighed, and continued. "And there's no way I candeny that Aunt Marcia was wrong when she said she thought I wastransgendered and did not know it. Seeing this," I waved at myreflection in the window, "has made something go click in my mind makingme see transitioning to a female gender is an appealing prospect, butnot because it would piss my dad off, but because I see her." I againwaved at my reflection. "In the mirror, without any of mental disconnectabout how I look and how I feel." I pulled a face trying to put intowords a concept I could not quite grasp. "Until you showed me Angela,when I saw myself it always a little.
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