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I could use a few.There’s a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. -- Steven WrightOn reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee whereupon the parrot squawks, “And get me a coke, you cow!” The stewardess, flustered, brings back a coke for the parrot and forgets the coffee.When this omission is pointed out to her, the parrot drains its glass and bawls “And get me another coke dogface!” Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another coke but still no coffee.Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot’s approach. “I’ve asked you twice for a coffee! Go and get it now you old goat!”The next moment both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says, “For someone who can’t fly, you’ve got guts!”It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been. Captain Frakes tied the lifeboat to the ladder and warily ascended. At first he looked up at the woman, but the tan skinned, raven tressed rogue still had her shirt scandalously open, and as she bent over the rail, her breasts strained to break loose. They seemed slightly larger in that position, and Captain Frakes wondered if he could really see her nipples pressing against the cloth, before lowering his red, shamed visage. Hearing her smugly chuckle above him, Captain Frakes willed the blush away from his cheeks and resumed climbing the ladder. When he finally reached the rail, his face was a stoic mask, devoid of any crimson. ‘Welcome aboard the Siren, Captain Frakes.’ Strong hands for such a slender woman grasped his own and helped him over the rail. ‘I’m Captain Lizzy Boyle.’ ‘The Siren? That’s… an unusual name, did you choose it yourself Madam-‘ ‘Captain, not Madam, My Lord. And yes, the ship’s name is more or less, my idea.’ ‘I see.’ She was going to be even more trouble.
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