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“You are here because—”“Zel always told me about how amazing her people were. Polite, refined. Dignified even. So I’ll try again. My name is Mike and—” Someone jabbed him in the back with a spear butt and he hopped forward in response. “I’m the Caretaker.”The Grand Stallion glared at him, visibly grinding his teeth. “Are you finished?”“I’m just trying to observe my own customs as a show of respect, Your Honor.”“You will refer to him as Grand Stallion.” This was from a female centaur by his side in battle armor with a silver blade across each hip and chainmail armor. “And you will dial back your impertinence.”“Oh, I apologize. We haven’t been formally introduced, per my custom, else I would have known the honorific he preferred. I mean, that is the point of my tradition.”“Your petty human traditions hold little sway over us, Mike the Caretaker. Your kind have brought naught but harm and chaos to the Herd, and therefore we feel no need to honor them.”“Yet you force me to abide. "You do look at her profile; it's one of those extremely pretty, well designed profiles with a lot of text that you can actually read--usually made by people who have no life. You can't deny you're interested, though; you DO have a lot in common, and when you click to see the rest of her pictures you can't help but be turned on. She's just so damn hot. Her face is beautiful; her long, flowing hair goes all the way down to her butt; and her body is that wonderful-but-oh-so-rare combination of slender and buxom. She has all the right curves in all the right places; in some of her pictures she's standing sideways in a seductive pose, making it easy to see how large her breasts are. You think they must be F cups.She doesn't go to your college, but she does live in the same city. Best of all, her status is "Single."You write back quickly, awaiting her response. Her response comes in about ten minutes; either she really DOES have no life or she was eagerly awaiting your response.You start.
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