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And she hated herself for that. She had scared him once already, let him see the one mark she had made, the first mark she had made in months. A mark she made because those feelings she tries to hide so deep came clawing back to the surface. Feelings she thought she had locked away for good. But feelings of being nothing, of being worthless, of feeling like trash are hard to lock away when it turns out they have a spark of truth in them. The mark that was mad, the mark he hates, was made because of her, was made so later more wouldn’t have to be done. She doesn’t want him to see anymore, doesn’t want to do it anymore, but her method is the base line, the first step, the least dangerous way. It’s the first in a line, in a line that has never been past the first step, although every step increases the danger. She doesn’t want him to know, doesn’t want anyone to know. No one needs to know her pain, no one needs to carry her burden, no one but her. It seems like she is trying to keep. That’s kind of what I meant about me being hard to get along with sometimes.”“It sounds like you’ve been through a lot.”I nodded. “I haven’t really talked about that day in detail before. It was pretty bad.”“Look,” she said, biting her lip. “If something like that ever happens again, call me. We don’t have a lot of room, but you can crash at my place when it gets too scary at home.”I smiled and took her hand, giving it a squeeze. “Thanks. Things rarely ever get that bad at home now, but if they do, I’ll let you know. In any case, that’s Emma. She’s gotten me through the last three months. You wanted to know about both my other girls though. Hanna’s a little more difficult to explain. I met her as a personal trainer. I was told that she hated men, but she doesn’t. She just pushes them to make sure that they’re strong enough to handle her personality. Most men can’t. She’s a lioness. She actually put me through that stretch the first time to punish me. She figured that I’d walk like an.
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