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I didn’t want to show my thoughts to this fool. Anyways I watched the movie with him. Our bodies were close but somehow my excitement had gone. I was infact liking the movie. After sometime, he paused the movie & went to the bathroom. As I waited, I started fiddling with his laptop and suddenly came across a folder full of porn movies. I wanted to see them desperately, but fearing he would be back, I closed the folder.“You want to watch some of them”, Roshan’s voice came from my back. I almost jumped in surprise. He had quietly come back & waited behind the sofa, watching what I was doing. Before I could reply, he sat down beside me, and started playing one of the porn movies. In it a guy was loving a woman, they were naked. The woman seems to be in immense pleasure. The sight of the intercourse made me very wet. In the meantime I felt Roshan putting an arm on my bare shoulders. He slightly bent & kissed me on my cheeks. & when he saw I didn’t protest he shut his laptop. I knew it. Such beauty and purity and they simply wanted to defile her. So did I, truth be told, only I wanted to do it for her own good, not mine. I’d committed the ultimate folly in my profession. I’d fallen in love with my prey. With a soundless sigh of resignation, I continued to study her. Not that I needed to. I knew everything about her that I needed to know. I simply watched her now for my own pleasure, hating myself for what I planned, and yet, thinking that, in some ways, it would be heroic. Perhaps I was fooling myself. Perhaps I’d become so adept at telling lies that even I believed them. It didn’t matter. I’d made my choice. I’d decided. Tonight, once the sun had set fully, I would act. I let my thoughts drift, recalling the details of my assignment and her dossier. What I knew was sketchy at best. Those interested in her had given me what information I’d needed at the time. What I had thought I’d needed. Now, I realized it wasn’t enough. I wanted so much more than what was in her.
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