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Did I want to see this? The thought had certainly never occurred to me before, and like Talee, I knew I felt no attraction to women. But then why didn't that fact make my response easy? Why was I delaying, not giving Talee her answer? I glanced toward the pit to see Ajje standing in it, calmly.Then I did what I never thought I would. Just a tiny nod, but it was certainly sufficiently clear for Talee, a nod toward the pit. I saw her eyes widen in surprise. I felt myself do it again, the same signal. And I watched as she moved, as silently as Ajje had, toward the ladder, then down into the pit.Brax kissed me, then went and retrieved the ladder. The two of them stood there in the bottom, Talee clearly ill at ease. I noticed they carefully kept their eyes off each other. "Come close," said Brax, having approached the lip, and they obeyed.He sprayed them. Short sprays, the first one at Ajje's face, then one at Talee's. I saw their eyes blink. I watched the spraying device as he set it. I would like to be able to say that our problems were entirely my husband's fault. That would not be accurate. I realized even while it was happening that it was mostly my fault. Not entirely. But mostly. I can't tell you why I made no effort to even meet him half way. It isn't that I didn't love him anymore. I still love him and I think that he still loves me. We just couldn't stay in the same house any longer. I have to admit that I have nearly spent us into the poorhouse. I must be one of those compulsive shoppers. I spent more money than we had every month and the more my husband yelled at me about it the more I spent.As for the sex, I have never been very fond of sex. It always seemed so dirty, so demeaning. In the beginning I kept my feelings to myself and did what I could to make it pleasurable for my husband. But soon after our daughter was born I lost all interest and it became more difficult to allow myself to be used that way. And long before our relationship had devolved.
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