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As soon as I saw the papers I remembered how terrible her spelling was and why I ‘gave’ her a 72 and 71 respectively. Her paper on persuasion was spelled perswasion and her paper on compare and contrast was entitled ‘witch is the best sell phon contact’ I was pretty sure she meant contract but I wasn’t sure. That was just the title and the entire paper was riddled with such spellings. ‘Well, Melody’ I said while trying not to smile of laugh ‘have you ever heard of spell-check?’ Her tiny eyebrows toughened up and she pouted her lips and I saw a look of deep concentration on her doll face. After a minute she blurted out ‘UFO’. ‘Huh?’ I replied. ‘There was a UFO I read about sent into space by the bad guys.’ ‘Melody, I don’t follow you.’ ‘Oh yea, I just had this in my history class.’ She raced back to her seat and retrieved and book from her backpack. She was flipping through the pages and laid it down on my desk knocking off her papers to the floor. ‘Here’ she exclaimed while leaning. See, the thing is that there's a million of them. That's okay. All of them are really close. That can be okay. But hardly any of them live in the same city. That's not okay, but it isn't that bad. They all like to go visiting each other a whole lot. Does that sound like the worst of it? Trust me, it's not.Okay, let me run this down again. There's a ton of these people, they're all close but they don't live close, and because they all own cars our country has to be an oil-importing nation. Got it? Here's another complication. Half the people in the family are divorced, but everyone remains on very friendly terms. Care for another? Birth control is commonly pronounced menopause. If the men take the responsibility it's called impotence.The thing of it is this. My wife begs me to hop in the car with her and go visit one of the aunts. After 100 miles we get there, we're barely out of the car, and her aunt says to my wife, "What a gorgeous day you have for your drive. I know what, let's go.
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