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“Whatever you do, don’t buy him a drink.” I assured her I wouldn’t. Alice had discovered that it was my first time out in public and told Bev. Bev took quite an interest in me and asked a lot of questions about me, like if my wife knew I dressed. I told her I thought she suspected and she looked right into my soul and said “She knows.” After that we had a quick enlightening discussion about my dressing. She asked me how I felt about being dressed in public with a no-bullshit phrase “How are you feeling about being here, dressed now?” I was sort of overwhelmed. It felt good to be in a dress and high heels, my nipples poking out through the sheer fabric. It was great to be dressed and talking to another gurl, albeit she lived as a gurl full-time while I was in the closet, I could sense her empathy and concern. It felt good to be accepted for being in my own skin. I tried to convey these things to her over the thump of the loud music and the ever-increasing noise of the celebrating. Hehid his entire feminine side. That is what his psychiatrist had toldhim. Ashton had to reassert the womanhood from within him. That was histrue self, being a macho man was a lie.He couldn't let that animal win. He had to stop dressing like and actinglike a tough man, that was just an act. He wasn't going to do thatanymore. He was going to be a man... well man wasn't the right wordadult was a better word. He was going to be a person who did as hepleased. He would do what he wanted not what people expected of him. Hewas going to be the soft, feminine creature that was his true nature.From now on he would only wear dresses and skirts like he used to. Evenback before 'that night' he would wear pants on occasion, but now hewouldn't wear pants ever. He had always felt better in dresses. He hadto show the world he was tough enough to be himself. He would show hissofter side again. That was his real side.He would start flirting with men again. Men weren't the enemy, he.
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