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“But we--” he said.“Sampo, not now”, she said. “Amanda, I need the loo. Will you come with me?”I nodded, and followed her to the toilet. She looked for an empty stall, waved me in, closed the door and hugged me.“Are you alright, sweetie?” she said.Goodness, had I been that obvious?“I’m ... it hurts, Sylvia. I want her so much, but--”She kept embracing me, cooing at me.“Poor darling”, she said. “I told you she was difficult.”“Please, don’t?”“Sorry, you’re right”, she said. “I shouldn’t have.”“Why is she that way? I’m so confused. I just want her to ... Fuck, I feel helpless.”Sylvia sighed.“It’s just how she is, Amanda. It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.”I took a few slow breaths, trying to come to terms with all the emotions going on inside me: shame, fear, regret; but also excitement, lust, and something I couldn’t put a name to. That elusive feeling was the warmth of belonging to someone, of knowing she was in charge, would take care of me, and was ultimately. Despite their agreement on that first night, Jack cared for Fay in much the same way as she did for him and to any casual observer, they looked like an item. Since that memorable first night, Fay had admitted to taking part in almost every single sexual act between consenting adults. Her frank series of admissions did not shock Jack, they aroused him deeply. Fay also told him that she had longed to find a man who could sate her sexual appetite as well as be her consort and share her with others. Whilst he found the idea of Fay with another woman intensely arousing, it had been a revelation to Jack that the idea of her with another man had spiced his curiousity too. For the first time in Jack’s life, encouraged by Fay’s own honesty, he found the safe harbour he needed to be honest about his own sexuality. As Fay understood that Jack was not judgmental, she empathised with his own frustrations of being stuck in a string of staid, unadventurous relationships. Taking the short walk to.
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