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After long, endless minutes, we finally broke apart."I like the way you say, 'thank you.'" I have said thank you but I decided that I wanted to kiss you. You are interesting. I also have to realize that you don't know our customs which may be different to you. You have never mated?"Her voice had a questioning lilt to it. I kept one arm around her and she had snuggled into the crook of my arm. One of her breasts was burning my side and I could feel the hot, pointy nipple as well as see it. I thought about her question."The word, mate, has a number of very different meanings in my time. It can mean mate as in marry when a man and woman are joined together as one on a permanent basis." I knew that many marriages don't last, but my parents had and so had most of their friends. That was what I wanted in marriage. I continued, "It can also mean have sex together. Usually in that meaning, it has some thought of having children." She laughed delightedly and noticed my red face."Poor Sal,". “Gary, that is wonderful. I worry about you and where you have been heading lately.”“Liz, I think I can straighten myself up if you help me. But I know I won’t do it if you decide to end what we have. I know I will just slide right back down…” The emotional blackmail was not lost on me. But there were two reasons I did not challenge Gary's thinly veiled threat. First, I knew Gary was telling the truth. If I ended the intimacies, Gary would slide back into his abyss. Second, I really wanted an excuse to continue.“I understand what you are saying, Gary. But you need to do the right things for you because of you, not because of me. But I do understand.” I needed time to think, and I was tired. “Gary, I am going to bed. I have not decided to end this. I don’t know if I could, even if I tried. I enjoyed today as much as you did. We’ll talk more later. Get some sleep yourself. Goodnight.”I went to my room and climbed into bed, my mind racing in all directions. But rather than feeling.
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