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It took me close to three years, but I finally had resolved to tell my mom. As I've told before, there was finally the right place, the right time, and then I discovered that I just couldn't go through with it. I couldn't face the possibilities of her disappointment in me. As it turns out, I never did find the courage to tell her.It all goes back to the question of maintaining "face". After having been so universally disregarded and despised, and then having had things somewhat better when I'd reached adulthood, maintaining people's regard for me became all-important. I couldn't face the possibility of going back to that place where everyone thought I was kind of strange.It took me a long time to get over that. Long time? Yeah. I came out to a few people, privately, in the late 1980's. In the early 90's I got involved with a gender program in Milwaukee, went through all the sessions and groups and testing, and finally had a firm diagnosis (which, of course, only confirmed what I'd. So not much workMe- Yes, I understand.Harpreet- So what about your dinner?Me- I will prepare my own or will order.Harpreet- Not fair, even I am alone. We will have dinner together here at my placeMe- Not possible.Harpreet- Why?Me- Actually I can’t sleep alone. So I will drink first so that I can sleep alone without any fear.Harpreet- (laughed) Oh is it so? I mean you can’t sleep alone?Me- Yes.Harpreet- So do one thing you can drink here. I have enough stock. Then after dinner, you can go back to your home and sleep tight without fear.I agreed and asked would she like to join me. She denied and within a couple of seconds, she offered me a bottle of whiskey with glass, water, and ice cubes. She went to the kitchen to make some starters for me. Meanwhile, I prepared my peg. Everything was normal until the first peg.Then all of sudden she came from the kitchen and started talking with me. To accompany me she took the juice in a glass.Harpreet- I want to ask you something.Me- Yes tell.
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