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But he feels also embarrassed, guilty about it. He does not want to be “gay” or “kinky”. It does depress him, that he has this urge to wear woman clothes and even enjoys it. I asked him, if his parents or others do know. He said no, and he presumes they will detest it. As he still lives at home, he cannot act as he wants. I told him, he should take it easy and befriend himself with his situation. Sexuality is a strange thing. There is not one normal. There are fetishes, special behaviors, turn-ons, techniques which are not really explainable “in full daylight” or rational discussions. And that each man and woman have different mixes of “male” and “female” hormones. There are men who are quite feminine and women who are quite masculine. If he wants, we could talk later more about it, after my bike tour. On my tour, I thought a lot about what happened. I hoped, that this occurrence did not destroy our relationship and that he did not do something foolish. When I came back, I was. Or, a whole bunch of John’s and David’s will come through with their broad smiles, deep guttural greetings and dirty winks. Won’t that be a delight! As soon as, I turned 18 my family decided that it would be okay for me to open shop on the weekends. In the beginning, I felt uncomfortable by the stares from men who were used to seeing my dad when they came to shop. Overtime, I got to learn their names and quickly learned what brand did they like to smoke or which beer was their favorite. Overtime, I quickly was well liked by my customers.Many American men do assume all kinds of things about Indian women. I can’t stand the ignorance and yet I often don’t feel the need to educate them. Just the other day, a 45 year old man; Sean came in asking for magazines. He had a dumb grin on his face and looked around. At first, I had no idea what magazines he was interested in buying. Then, it dawned on me that he wanted to look at the magazines dad had placed in a box on the top shelf. I lowered.
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