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No exceptions, you got that?” I asked.“Yes I got that sis. That bossy thing may just be part of the package, I'm gonna get whether I want it or not,” Ray replied. “Yeah pretty much,” I said. Then he took my left hand and kissed it. “Now aren't you just a gentleman,” I said. I was 6 ½ months along and he seriously waited on me hand and foot. Whatever I wanted or needed, he got for me for the remainder of the pregnancy like a true gentleman. Once I got further and further along, we saw our parents more and more and Bill and Wendy less and less. They had a newborn to take care of, so we didn't have hurt feelings or anything like that. Once I got to be 8 ½ months along the pregnancy really started to suck. I was of course happy to have Ray's baby, but still it was horrible, but by then Wendy and Bill finally started visiting with their new baby Tom. “So this our god child?” I asked. “God child? We never said you were his god parents,” Wendy replied, “Says you,” Ray said. “Yes we do say. Guess it doesn’t really matter. It all burns. Speaking of burning — I know it’s summer, but this heat is fucking ridiculous. Maybe I should demand to see someone about it when I get to the pearly gates. It’s bad enough that I’m laying here dying, but do I have to simmer in my own juices while I’m at it? Or maybe I’m going to the other place, and this is a preview of coming attractions. Thrills, chills, and spills. Red-hot summer action. I did covet my neighbor’s wife — well, girlfriend. I coveted her a lot. Must have done a pretty good job of coveting her, because she moved in with me. She’s going to be so pissed when I’m not home by two. I’d sleep on the couch or even in the doghouse right now with a smile on my face. Beats taking a dirt nap on this rock. Great. Now the sun’s directly overhead, shining in my eyes. Wait a minute. It was only about eight when I last looked at my watch. It’s a Timex. I wonder if it’s still ticking? You don’t get much more of a licking than this. Except.
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