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You’re going to be okay--you’ll walk again and everything. However, your penis was severed in the accident, and we couldn’t find it.”The man groans, but the doctor goes on, “You have $9,000 in insurance compensation coming, and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don’t come cheap. It’s roughly $1000 an inch.”The man perks up.“So,” the doctor says, “You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years, and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now, she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before, and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It’s important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision.”The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.The doctor comes back the next day, “So, have you spoken with your wife?”“Yes I have,” says the man.“And has she helped you make a. At my place, I'd gotten by withjust Netflix, but Eve and Greg had cable, a shitty internet plan, and noDVR. That meant loads of commercials, some of which featured children,and especially young girls enjoying certain things.It got so bad that during one show, I had to leave each time thecommercials played. The Frozen on Ice wasn't the problem, yes- I hadlooked at it with a certain yearning, but that desire eventually faded.No, the problem was a commercial promoting the Frozen princess dress-upset. It featured everything a young girl would need to play as herfavourite character from the movie, from dresses to full length gowns,crowns, long gloves, even little slippers.This reminded me of the fun I had with Ashley, and the memory haddecided not only to stay but to actually burrow deep into my brain,nestling within like some hibernating animal finding its winter home. Itwas like a parasite devouring my brain matter. There was a strangewarmth to it, a comfort. Despite being framed by the.
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