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.. Remember: Don’t make old people mad! We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to piss us off.These are compliments of Pat WWayyyyy back at the dawn of T.V. A man walked into an agent’s office for an audition, as he had a strong desire to be an actor.He acted, he sang, he danced, he told jokes, and did pratfalls, after which the agent said.“You’ve got a lot of talent. Whats your name?”“Penis Van Lesbian, Sir.”“Excuse me? What did you say?”“Penis Van Lesbian”“You CAN’T have a name like THAT in show business.” The agent replied.“Penis Van Lesbian is a long respected name where I come from, and I will NOT change it!” As he stormed out the door in a huff.The agent soon forgot the would be actor and went on about his business. 20 years later, he recieved an envelope in the mail, containing $10,000 and a note...The note said,“Dear Sir,A long time ago you gave me some advice, and to my shame I walked out on you. I soon learned that you were right, and I changed. " No need."***"Wow," Lisa said as she climbed into the gigantic bed beside Melissa."That was quite the date. Nobody ever took me to such a fancy place." Steve is something else, huh?" Melissa agreed as she punched a pillow."Yeah." Lisa silently stared at the ceiling for a few moments. "You'rereally lucky, you know," she finally said."What?" Melissa turned onto her elbow. "What do you mean?" You're getting to be you." So are you," Melissa told her."I guess." Lisa, what are you trying to tell me? Spit it out!" I'm gay!" Lisa cried, turning away to muffle her tears."Is that all?" Melissa demanded as she placed her hand on Lisa'sshoulder."All? We're pretty fucked up twins you know!"Melissa shrugged as she sat up. "I don't know, apparently we're morealike than I would have thought," Melissa grinned."What do you mean?" Apparently I should have been you and you should have been me." I like being a girl," Lisa protested."I didn't say otherwise, but I'd wager you would have been happier asme.
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