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“Richard” said Bob Blobluto, “This is Bob Blobluto.” “Oh hi Bob!” said Richard Widemouth in a voice that sounded genuinely surprised, “How’s that can coming along?” “It’s full. 85 percent “76 trombones”, 10 percent “Theme from Rocky” five percent warm up and tuning.” replied Bob Blobluto. “It’s all out of my Salvation Army BB flat contrabass trombone“Yeah cool. I gotta get a label made up. When can I pick the can up?” asked Richard Widemouth in a brotherly voice that reeked of condescension.“Well,” replied Bob Blobluto “I’m getting ready to jack off. Stop over after four. I’ll be done slappin’ the hog by then.”“Cool!” Said Richard Widemouth “I’ll hook you up with this dude Leroy Shempkowski. He jams a mean “Theme from Rocky” and he’s learning “76 Trombones”. He wants to jam with you.”“Cool” said Bob Blobluto “I’d suck on his seed blaster too, unless he’s a fat ass.”“Oh, he’s not fat” offered Richard Widemouth in a voice that cracked with a custard sound. “He’d let you slurp on his. "And don't drink and drive," he shouted as I started the car engine, put the car into gear and drove off.Sharon lived about 20 miles away and I was leaving myself a good two hours to get there. I hated being late for anything and decided that if I was too early, I could stop at a Costa's and have a coffee, and that is exactly what I did. I was only 5 minutes away from Sharon's house, but I still had over an hour left on the clock. I pulled into the Costa car park and went inside for a coffee. The place was almost deserted but a few of the men did turn and look at me, examining me with their lustful eyes.I sat at a table close to the window and pretended to watch what was happening outside in the car park. Occasionally I would turn and look at my audience, pretending to be enjoying my coffee more than the looks and smiles from the men. To be truthful, the coffee was not that good, but it was a way of killing time.My mobile phone rang. It was Sharon. "Hi Becci. I've got a problem. I was.
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