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Both clearly loved me. Both wanted a relationship with me. I think both wanted some kind of commitment. Had I misled them? Both knew about the other. Both knew about Birgit. Both knew my mental and emotional state as best as I could explain it. Both claimed to accept it on some level, but both gave signs of not accepting it or thinking they could somehow change it.I hadn’t slept with Becky, which in one way made things easier. If I hurt her now by pushing her away, she’d still have her virginity intact. She was clearly in love with me. Hopelessly, head-over-heels in love, if I was reading her right. If I continued my relationship with her, it would inevitably lead to making love. She had made that clear. And that was a bridge once crossed that could not be uncrossed.I had made love with Jennifer once. The bridge had been crossed. As amazing as that experience was, it might have been better if I hadn’t done that. It had, as Jennie had warned it would, changed the relationship in ways. "Well Mary, you are a very beautiful woman, for starters, and I like the way you keep me happy. Also, you have had a life that didn't give you a choice of what you wanted and I feel a need to give you the ability to take your own choices."Mary thought about that for a while, and then curious still decided to get a little more from him."Well, why do you keep an old whore like me around? You know where I have been, what I have done, and yet you have been treating me like, well, a wife, or at least a lover."Al uncomfortably twisted around in his chair. He was embarrassed. Mary saw that she had caused him discomfort, and started to fearfully reach out to him and was begging for forgiveness."Al! I didn't mean to upset you. I was curious, just asking a question! That's all. You don't have to answer me; I didn't mean to insinuate that we were a couple or anything like that. I was just curious to know why you treated me, well, so well."Al looked at her with a far-away dark look. She could see.
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