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There are quite a few 'hole-in-the-wall' ATMs in our town, but the nearest one to the multi-storey car park where I'd left mine was located in the outside wall of the nearby supermarket.There was a small queue of people waiting, of which I was the next in line. As I stood patiently waiting my turn, it was obvious that the woman in front of me was having problems, as she had tried to use her card several times and was getting quite agitated by her lack of success. Now, we British are usually a stoic race, but I could hear the mutterings from the people behind me, so I stepped forward to see if I could help."Is there a problem with the machine?" I don't know—must be! I got paid yesterday, so I know that there's money in the account, but it keeps declining my card. I'm worried that if I try again it will keep it, and I need some money for the weekend." Look, why don't we let these other people go first and if they get money out, it could be either your card or a problem with your. I was hoping for another shag before you pissed off. Oh, hello. I’m Scarlett.’ She sounded chirpy, so I was sure it was not her who shrieked. Mr J and I held our collective breathes until the door slammed and then collapsed into uncontrollable laughter. As I wiped tears from my eyes a minute or two later I caught sight of Scarlett leaning against the kitchen door jamb. She glanced from Mr J to me and back as if expecting an explanation. We both fell into a new bout of giggles. Her bed-head hair topped a face smeared with yesterday’s make up and bodily fluids, the crumpled T-shirt she had dragged on over skimpy knickers carried the legend ‘Whore’. She had not had time to pull on a skirt or jeans to cover her bare legs. She looked confused. Mr J recovered himself first. ‘I think you’d better put any plans for a quick wedding on hold.’ He eventually managed. I decided I had better go for a shower before I wet myself laughing and left a bemused-looking Scarlett sniffing my coffee and.
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