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Frodo paused in his crawl. Ahead of him he could see the entrance toMount Duum. He'd like to get laid. After all he was thirty-three fuckingyears old and no one had even looked at him yet. If he had been a humanman it would have been too fucking late. But as a Hobbit... He had a fewyears yet.He felt the ground level, and looked toward the fire. Flames leapt fromthe constant lava flow in there. Enough heat to fry the ring... Hell,fry anything not made of fucking asbestos even with the EPA warnings. Sohe was supposed to go in there, throw the ring into the fire, then what?Gandalf Elrond and the others had been rather vague about that... Likemaybe he didn't need to worry about a round trip ticket? He consideredthe fellowship. He knew it had to represent all of the human and sortahuman races. But he'd been a little leery of Gimli and Legolas. Afterall, Gimli was like a blind date. Taller than the average Hobbit, butthat knee length beard really burned Frodo's chops. After all, whatwoman. This reporter has reason to believe that Miss Granger has been using powerful love potions to trick unsuspecting male teenagers into having sex with her. Although there is no conclusive photographic proof, this journalist has also learned of this deviant little teenager’s propensity to use her love potions on Hogwarts professors to raise her already high marks. Not only has she been tricking innocent boys into having relations with her, she has sunk her insatiable teeth into two Triwizard Champions, including an unsuspecting Harry Potter who was swept off his feet by her potent love potions. One Champion was obviously not enough for this sultry minx and instead of letting him down easy, Miss Hermione Granger broke his heart, not once but twice, with both the world-renown Quidditch star Victor Krum and some other unknown other Hogwarts student.By Rita Skeeter‘THAT BITCH!’ Ron shouted, as Hermione started to tear up in embarrassment. It was obvious to all three of them that Rita.
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